Having been to most monger regions of the World, my lack of Carib trips needed rectifying. Lacking sufficient time to hit the one Carib venue that REALLY appeals to me (Cuba), I had to settle for secondbest. Despite everybody saying go to the DR, I assiduously try and avoid the well trodden path (and ugliness, both in terms of women AND beaches). Having read Dutchie and Sludge's useful trip reports (kudos to both for a job well done), having a positive surf report in hand and American's Web Special to St. Maarten conspired to make my choice. Finally getting a chance to get outside the lower 48 with the H- man, and off I was for 3 days of sun, surf and sex. Well I got plenty of sun and sex but no surf (similar to Spain where ample sex and culture offset a lack of surf). World-class beaches (many TOTALLY Nude), every water sport known to man (I don't mean golden showers-you guys are sick if you are into getting pissed on IMHO) an ideal climate and great restaurants. It is also one of the last territories that is ENTIRELY duty free meaning great shopping. The cheapest booze and cigarettes (Hacker bought a carton of Marlboros for $10) you have ever seen. MOST of you don't care about the shopping, sun or surf so I'll skip to the sex part forthwith.
From a monger perspective there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that the island is geared to ST, there is VERY little action until later in the evening and there are no Brazilians (YES I got spoiled in Spain). The good news is that there are many cute Colombianas (non-colonial spelling now adopted despite rejection by my Anglicization-loving spellchecker) and lesser numbers from the DR, Jamaica and Trinidad many of whom are still sweet. Most clubs rotate girls every 90 days (immigration policy permits 90 day visa free entry) Also, with a little haggling prices are reasonable (generally in the 30-50 range). Hacker says it is like Tijuana without the T and there is some truth in that. The set up of the casas is similar and the nettlesome knock on the door after time expires (at one place in particular). But, BBBJ is MUCH more readily available, there are more better looking and less battlehardened girls, there is virtually no violent crime or poverty like in TJ, and basically it is a MUCH nicer place to hang out during the daytime. So those who travel SOLELY for sex will likely prefer the DR. Those who strive for equilibrium between more wholesome activity and mongering will likely love it here. DO bring cash (or plastic) though as the girls (and Presidente beer) are the few things that are fairly cheap.
I had read that action on the French side was very erratic and we spent very little time there. There are six casas on the Dutch side (I believe we hit them all except the "Border" bar which is reputedly very local, not blessed with talent and very iffy for honkies). All are on the same road within a 5 mile stretch going North from Phillipsburg (the biggest city on the Dutch side). I will discuss them in the order you will encounter them.
1. Le Petit Chateau-on Main Road along Salt Pond turn left at police station and go straight about 200 meters past baseball stadium; it is on the left. Girls dance on bar, open during daytime, "talent" tended toward the hefty side IMHO. I worried about the structural soundness of the bar given 4 150+ "dancers" at a time. Saw only one that looked decent. Almost got killed by a local who took a fancy to my FC Barcelona jersey and offered me his shirt plus the $70 in his pocket saying he "needed the fucking shirt". While giving it to him would have provided a reason to return to Barcelona (not that I need EXTRA incentive), I quite like the shirt too. When a particularly rotund dancer created a blind spot, we dashed for the door and returned to the hotel where I promptly switched shirts. We avoided Le Petit Chateau thereafter (no big loss IMHO). Convenience is its SOLE redeeming feature IMHO (walking distance from town).
2. Seaman's Club--VERY easy to find and well marked and right on main road NORTH. Got a good bbbj from a decent looking, older, Callena (MANY Callenas about in St. Maarten) for $50. Some can be negotiated down to $30ish but an extra $20 for better service no biggie to me. No room charge or time limit. Hacker pulled one here who got so overwhelmed by the moment that she left a bid hickey on his nipple. The lesson learned is that it doesn't hurt to say "por favor no marcar" to the chicas (as well as to Cuban immigration).
3. Defiance Haven-IMHO the best of the lot. One mile up the hill from Seamans. The former "American University of the Caribbean" (signs are posted on the dorm which now houses the chicas). 99% Colombianas ranging from 5 to 8. No cover charge and standard price is $40 plus $3 house fee (the girl buys a ticket to allow you to pass into her dorm room). Opens at 5 pm but DEAD early. Pool tables in the front room, $2 cold Presidentes and a dance floor. Some show later in evening but not full stripping. New girls, like Hacker's cutey on her first day, only asked $25. The "veterans" (few, if any, stay more than 3 months) apparently frown on this type of discounting. 20 minute "limit" is enforced with the dreaded knock on the door (ala Adelitas in TJ) but if you agree to pay another $3 upon exit you get as much time as you need (subject to negotiating the chicas fee, of course).
Hacker and I asked about taking out two of the very cutest Colombianas (both petite blondes) for the entire night and were given the ridiculous price of $250 each. We didn't try to bargain (as we were laughing too hard). The crowd is mixed between Anglo tourists and locals. The locals tend to hang out but rarely appeared to head back to the dormitory for action. Felt very safe although somebody did steal the sideview mirror off my rental car the very first night (cost me $25). Theft from vehicles is endemic and is the primary negative to St. Maarten IMHO.
Daniella from Medellin had never taken a hot wad in the mouth before and was reluctant. Our negotiations wee almost at impasse when she said that leaving the pocketrocket as a regalo might seal the deal. So, $70 & a regalo (to be delivered only on my last night) later and she honored her promise not to spill a drop. She started a sort of scared whining right before the big event which was a turnon in a Machiavellian way. Quick learner that girl as when I returned for a repeat performance the next day she did not hesitate to accept my offer of $50 for the same treatment which was, if anything, even better. Good massage and lots of fondling over an hour (I did have to pay the extra $3 to the house but Daniella did not ask for extra $ for staying overtime) and I was a happy camper. Very nice girl but returning to Medellin in early February so you better get her soon. Actual hotel onsite is $40 with no tax or service charge addons like at nicer hotels (cash only despite credit card window stickers). Good aircon but no TV. Decent room. Great location for mongers (in middle of brothel strip) but nearest beach about 4 miles away. When you see the prices of other hotels, defiance becomes a bargain. Reception is only staffed in the evening. If noone there (as normal), walk to the first room on the first floor and knock and you'll find somebody to check you in. I cannot imagine that reservations would EVER be necessary as the place is pretty empty-terrible marketing despite the website (check the link below). Any fool who paid the package price would be irate upon arrival. The BarBQue in the front was quite decent according to the H man. No regular restaurant onsite, however.
4. Sunset Retreat- AKA Yellow House. Keep going past Defiance 1.5 kms and RIGHT next to the road on the RIGHT is a HUGE yellow building with liquor ads (cannot miss it). Primarily locals and PACKED late (parking lot fills up despite being HUGE). Some strip show and Hacker & I were the only White faces to be seen (although I didn't feel uncomfortable, we didn't stay long). Some nice lookers but no Morenas to be seen.
5. The infamous casablanca AKA White house-a HUGE white house way up on a hill about .5 kms past Yellowhouse also on the right. The new, paved, road, must have simplified access greatly as other posts mentioned having great difficulty finding it. Whoever posted about it being "way above cul de sac" took a VERY roundabout route as it is nowhere near Cul-de-sac. At the next PAVED road on the right past Yellowhouse, turn right up the STEEP driveway and you will find it. A large place with two stages that has topless dancing whenever the crowd gets big enough. $2 Presidentes and no cover. $1 house fee (plus $30-$40 for girl) with no annoying time limit. Crowd is pretty evenly mixed between locals and Anglos.
Girls are primarily Dominican although there was one from Jamaica and one hottie from Trinidad. The best of the lot was the statuesque, lightskinned, Dominicana from Santiago that Hacker liked so much he went back for seconds. I think he made plans to hook up with her back in the DR too. While the one I did was not quite as cute, she was a GREAT performer corroborating the view that what Dominicanas lack in looks they make up for in performance. I was a tad worried about being up for battle as Daniella had drained me less than 30 minutes before but had no problem rising to the occasion after some nasty dancing.
After finishing with the Domincana, and finding Hacker still missing (i.e. with his hottie), the girl from Trindad did a NASTY private dance (tipped her $2) rubbing her bush on my knee and hand. I was tempted to go for round three within an hour but, saving me from that dilemna, the H man soon appeared and off we went back to the sanctity of defiance.
The last night we stayed at the biggest hotel on the Island, the Maho Beach Hotel whicvh is just reopening after being wasted by a hurricane last November. GREAT facilities including a casino across the street and the Platinum Room strip club (we went once at 10, the stated opening hour, and was told by an unfriendly French girl they started at 11). The girls looked cute (all White FYI), but not overly friendly. There is an all black strip club called Players Club next door to Tropicana Casino, a few miles further East with same (unduly late IMHO) hours. $8 cover includes one drink. Unsure about availability of extras in either of these places.
here to see the photos
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