Prostitution Report
from Japan

The American Owner, Dudley, is a great guy who is very helpful. He is married to a local girl but is a true TSMer himself. He and the other staff regaled me with stories about the "kitchen girl" who used to frequent the club last summer and would pull a train on the staff or interested others. There is a small kitchen in a little nook behind the bar which is out of view from the public. "Tagteaming" was much enjoyed by all but, regrettably, the kitchen girl has not returned in recent months. Let him know you are a TSM member (his email link is on the website at www.clubunderground.net) and he'll announce you to the masses and even try and assist you with arranging an assignation. There is no cover charge, drinks are reasonably priced (it IS Japan though) so costs are no issue. The clientele when I was there was about 55% Marines, 40% Japanese girls, 4% girls attached to the base somehow and moi (estimating capacity at 100 I represented the last percent). The noise level was high but not unbearable. The smoke level was PAST unbearable (the term "secondhand smoke" is a misnomer as I cannot imagine getting a higher concentration of carcinogens even sucking directly from a Camel unfiltered or Pall Mall). IMHO, the smoke is a major deterrent (reminded me of a sports bar in Salzburg where I choked through the NFL playoffs). Anyone who has been to Gas Panic in Roppongi has the basic idea of Club Underground (except sans the Semper Fi crowd).

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There ARE local girls looking for action, although I must disagree with the prior post opining that they prefer you are NOT a Marine (the Marines were both so numerous and aggressive that they sure seemed to get all the action). I did have some nice glances, girls stand close by etc but the quality was, IMHO, not too good. I certainly saw much better lookers at other places. I rate the range of girls I saw as 4 to 6 or 7, certainly no 8s on the TSM scale except for 2. This pair was very sexy and apparently unattached, but inquiry of the staff revealed that they were regulars, regular prick teases that is. Was told they visited virtually every weekend but had NEVER gone home with anybody. Didn't get their names as this is the type of women we TSMers cross oceans to AVOID! As noted elsewhere, the apparent key to picking up Japanese women is AGGRESSION-the Marines would just go up and grab a girl anywhere on her body. Some girls would resist but some not at all. This aggressive approach is so contrary to my upbringing and style that I found it hard to adapt. I know that when in Rome one should do as the romans do but I was: 1. Too polite, 2. Too worried about getting into a brawl with a pack of beefy Marines or 3 not drunk enough. Contrary to a prior post, there was no public sex whatsoever. No bjs on couches or in line for bathroom, no nudity at all. While the Underground certainly has potential and warrants a visit if you happen to be in Western Honshu, I would not make a special trip there from Tokyo (5 hours by Shinkansen AKA "bullet train"+ 1 hour on local train to Iwakuni). I bailed for Tokyo the next morning. In retrospect, it was a wise choice for while Tokyo is the World's most populated, expensive, crowded city, it is the center of the TSM action available to we heathens in pious Japan.

TOKYO AREA-The good= 21 Seiki in Shibuya,Koganecho in Yokohama & Roppongi The bad=$500+ soaplandos & Ripoff "Hostess Clubs"

The Ugly=Take a look around, anywhere

After having largely negative experiences in the provinces (actually the "Prefectures"), I will start with the good news about Tokyo. While it is incredibly overcrowded, polluted and expensive, the Tokyo area without doubt offers the best TSM options for we non-Japanese infidels in the "land of the gods" (that is what they think it is, really). Yet within about an hour train ride from this sprawling metropolis, a TSMer can find both a blowjob bar reminiscent of the now defunct "Little Black Jack's" on Santos Street in Angeles City as well as the Asian version of Amsterdam's infamous red light district. The total cost at either of these options is less than US100; I know that represents 20 bjs in Quito or Phnom Penh or certain economical venues, but when compared to the price of EVERYTHING ELSE in Japan, these costs are reasonable. And last, but DEFINITELY not least, the VERY best thing about these options is that all TSMers are served equally regardless of race etc.. While many TSMers may take that for granted elsewhere, after repeatedly feeling the sting of racism one both appreciates being serviced without regard to race, and one feels a heightened sense of empathy for TSMers who are discriminated against because of their race in other countries. Put differently, it is hard to comprehend the hurt inflicted on victims of racism (even the more subtle varietals practiced outside Japan) until you have personally suffered the indignation caused by racist rejection.

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A. 21 Seiki (means century")in Shibuya, the bj bar. Shibuya is one of THE trendiest districts for young Japanese to shop, mingle see and be seen. It is 2 stops South of Shinjuku on the JR Yamanote line (Tokyo's main loop line). Take the Hachiko exit from Shibuya Eki, cross the mega intersection and begin walking on the PEDESTRIAN ONLY street in the middle (there are auto streets on either side). After about 200 meters, look for a Burger King on ground level on the right. Immediately across from BK look up for a blue sign with the number 21 in white lettering. It is on the 3th floor. There is an elevator opening directly on the street and 21 has a nearby paper sign listing prices (you cannot read anything but the numbers, trust me). Hours are from 5 pm until midnight. As I entered the elevator full of anticipation (and accumulated seed involuntarily retained from Sapporo, Hiroshima etc) I kept pushing the button for the third floor but the light would not illuminate. A computerized voice mumbled something incomprehensible (a common frustration when dealing with talking machines in Japan that lack an "English" option). The buttons for all other floors DID work, leading me to worry that the authorities had closed the place because they learned that 21 Seiki was committing the unforgivable sin of serving gaijin. Took the elevator and got off at the fourth floor (some kareoke club). After inquiring whether there was a secret entrance to nirvana of which I was unaware without success (the guy kept telling me gaijin deska OK (AKA that I could enter), I began to leave (I HATE kareoke bars) and noticed a spiral staircase going down. With great trepidation, I went down one flight and much to my relief found that 21 Seiki WAS still in operation and DID admit gaijin. If you don't understand Japanese (I know a little), when the doorman says "irrimashee" (welcome), rather than the dreaded "Japanese only" (which seems to be the ONLY English spoken by many of the dorrmen), you will be admitted. After allowing my heart rate to return to some sembelance of normalcy after this shock, I paid my 6000yen ($56) and was led to a small booth with a couch and small table then asked what drink I wanted. I asked for Coke, he said no coke. I said what do you have? He said beer. I said beer then. ALL drinks are included in the price, and with a beer at Tokyo bars often approaching 8 or 10 $, you could drink the bj cost down to something quite modest. An Ozzie TSMer could likely drink enough to make the bj free (6 beers at $9 per =$54).

Your entry fee (increases to 7000 after 7pm ,and 8000 after 8pm, so 5 to 7 is prime time) gets you 30 minutes, although there is no egg timer or similar bullshit like in the hostess bars. Every time I went (several) I had a girl assigned to me although you can request a particular one from a prior visit. There is no lineup, photos or anything like some upscale soaplandos, but all the girls I saw were between 6 and 8 on the TSM scale. Ask for one of the booths near the back because from those booths you can look up at the small mirror on the ceiling and see some action in the other booths. All booths face the same way and have partial glass dividers. They are NOT totally enclosed, however, so if you are apprehensive about a waiter walking by while you get your knob kneaded you may feel odd but noone really looks or anything. When you negligee clad girl arrives (always Japanese from my experience but supposedly SE Asians work there on occasion), she pours your beer (you can do it yourself but that is frowned on a bit in Japan). She then makes small talk (the AMOUNT of talk will be VERY small unless you can converse in Nihongo). She quickly tells (or motions) you to drop your drawers then wipes your privates with a hot washcloth. She then proceeds to give a good bbbj (all action is uncovered although you could probably cover it if YOU wanted). You can fondle and grope where ever you wish. Every time I got good to very good service, and EVERY time she took EVERY DROP in her mouth. After sucking you dry (really dry), she puts another washcloth around your member and then discreetly spits your love juice into the used washcloth. She then walks in the back to clean up. Most often, I had not used my full allotted 30 minutes so I would sit there drinking the beer and a different girl would always come keep me company until my time expired. I would fondle the second, but never tried getting 2 nuts within my 30 minutes (no vitamin for me YET, and there is SOME refractory period, even in a gaijin servicing bj bar in Tokyo). If you really want to double dip, suggest you head to the conveniently located BK across the street for a Whopper while your energy depleted member regains its grandoise size and form. PS Don't get too flattered when a Japanese girl tells you what a big schlong you have as your average western schlong (at 6 to 7 inches) is a veritable leviathan compared to the instruments of their local clientele. A vienna sausage compared to your foot long hotdog, or a White Castle to your whopper (to use the burger analogy). While 21 Seiki is not for GFE, extended sessions or privacy, it is a fun and economical way to get your rocks off right in the heart of the beast.

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B. The Kogan Echo District of Yokohama-Japan's version of Amsterdam's RLD.Thanks (for the umpteenth time) to KL Kraut who first mentioned this area on TSM some years back in a terse post. Yokohama is the second largest city in Japan and is just South of Tokyo (they pretty much blend together like LA & Orange County). It is the largest port and has long been a trading area which is tolerant of foreigners. This is still true, and it is easily the most multiethnic city in Japan. Japan's largest chinatown is here (although it is a joke compared to San Francisco's or Vancouver's), and there is a large population of Chinese (including many pleasure executives), Indian laborers, resident gaijin etc.. While it may not look like much, cultural diversity both in dining and in TSM options is the big draw here.

There is train service from Shibuya/Shinjuku etc, but you must change to the Keikyu line at Yokohama station. At Yokohama eki, get off and look for track 1 and get on a NONEXPRESS train (Black signs in window-express trains have red signs and do not stop at Kogan Echo). Ride for 3 stops to Koganecho (190 yen). The Keiyku line service does run all the way to the Tokyo area but terminates at Shinagawa station (near Haneda airport). You can get to Shinagawa from virtually anywhere in Tokyo on the JR Yamanote line (the loop). Total travel time from Tokyo is about 1 hour. The station has only one exit so cross the street and begin walking one of the two small lanes on either side of the train tracks. You should be walking back the direction from whence you came. Within a 100 meters or so, you will begin to notice small houses with scantily clad ladies standing on the doorway beckoning you in. These extend for several hundred meters on either side of the tracks. Local wisdom is that prime time is after 7 pm as the early bird gets the old and the none too attractive. The lookers can earn their keep more quickly so they only open doors after about dinner time. The cultural diversity here is awesome; many Japanese and Chinese, but also several Thais, Malays and one house specializing in Mongolians who are highly regarded by English Speaking regulars (one military, two Indians & one Japanese). This house is called "Puffy Standby" and is on a corner on the lefthand alley (as you walk North away from station). It is also the only house with English writing on the awning and one of the few with a pimp/yakuza handler. Most of the ladies are freelancers who have no pimp. As an aside let me note that I HATE chulos/pimps/chempira etc and believe that most the racism in soaplandos is from the men, not the women. Some will say they are protecting the girls from AIDS as all gaijin have AIDS according to local thinking; I reject this theory as I was excluded from the Filipina soaplands and the MFs do not give a damn about the wellbeing of their Filipinas GROs (or any non-Japanese for that matter). I think a more plausible explanation is the fact that Japanese men are well known to be pathetic lovers (not just for having small cocks but impatient and selfish too) and the chempira do not want "their" girls (who they get for "free") getting used to the superior sexual abilities of non-Japanese men.

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Regrettably, the regulars could not recall any Filipinas or Indonesians (my 2 favorites) so I sampled several other "dishes". The Mongols are quite skilled (if a tad beefier than the prototypical LBFM) and the Chinese girls seem to either really enjoy the sex or are great actresses. There were even two large breasted Hungarians for those who MUST get Caucasian nookie. Never saw any African or Hispanic girls, although there are supposedly a couple of Brazilians and Venezuelans from time to time. Was told the non-Asians MAY command a premium but the going rate is 10000 ($91). Haggling is nnecessary and this price includes all activities (didn't ask about Greek though). Bring your own rubbers (as anywhere in Asia) unless you have a Japanese sized schlong (it ain't just the cars, food portions and hotel rooms that are tiny). Just cruising around is quite fun as the girls are MUCH more forward about solicitation than anywhere else in Japan.

C. Kabukicho-this area just Northeast of Shinjuku eki is the largest entertainment district in Japan. Numerous touts besiege all men here, local and gaijin alike (egalitarianism never felt so refreshing) with offers of "young girl", "cheap massage" etc etc.. Touts are even multiethnic (many Africans & Koreans) here. Ample neon and restaurants of all nationalities. Very crowded, busy area. While I cannot suggest particular venues here, suffice to say that the TSM venues here are much more likely to admit you as an infidel than more traditional areas like Yoshiwara. Many chempira here and costs seem high.

D. Roppongi-this is gaijin central for nightlife. As I exited Roppongi Metro stop, I immediately noticed a sign for Geronimo's shot bar, an establishment I know from much carousing that offers the cheapest barfine in the P. Burgos area of Makati. In fact, IO had a barfine from the Makati version tell me how her boyfriend was working at the Tokyo club and was fucking a waitress. Much to my dismay, the Roppongi version is NOTHING like its Makati counterpart. It is REALLY a shot bar. It has White waitresses/bartenders. It has no Filipinas., It is a waste of time. Enough said. Roppongi also hoists the infamous Gas Panic bar which is like Club Underground but with higher prices and no Marines. VERY crowded on weekends. If you want to cruise this area, stay nearby as last metro train leaves at midnight and a taxi back to Ueno or Ginza area will dent your entertainment budget in a big way. Because of this, I did not have time to check out TSM options in Roppongi but saw several sex shops with English signs.

E. Ueno area- North of city center, a cheaper and MUCH less glitzy area than Skinjuku or Ginza. For a traveler arriving from overseas, Ueno is cheapest and quickest point of arrival from Narita Airport.Unless you have a JR Pass, take Keisei line to Ueno for 1080yen (less than 1/3 of JR Express Service to Shinjuku). Keisei's Skyliner is almost double the cost and less than 15 minutes faster. Within 10 yards of exiting Keisei Ueno station, you are at Hotel Kinuyu, a business hotel charging less than $70. You may say $70 for a small, simple room is no bargain; I say you haven't dshopped around in Tokyo for lodging. Incredibly convenient for a first night for a traveler arriving from overseas who wants to just drop his baggage and hit the town.

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Ueno has a red light district too that seems somewhat accepting of gaijin. From the South end of Ueno station, walk South a few blocks until you see a small street on your right with an archway over it. I had Read on the WSG about a soapland that accepted foreigners called New York, New York and found it here. Unfortunately, it closes at midnight and I only got back from Roppongi after midnight. And it was here that I fell victim to the worst ripoff scene in Japan, the "hostess club". Seeing a Philippine flag, and after exclusion from similar places in Hiroshima, I decided to check it out. You pay $20 per 30 minutes plus must order one $15 appetizer (not appetizing at all). For this you get to talk with a girl-maybe a casual touch of the shoulder but nothing worthy of the moniker TSM. And the girls rotate every 10 or 15 minutes so if you find one you do like, you must pay an EXTRA $10 for her to avoid "rotating" to another table. The first one I had was very nice and we hit it off. She even dropped hints that she was looking for a boyfriend and would be interested in "getting together" the next day (a Sunday which is the girls day off). Unlike other clubs where the girls cannot go anywhere without a chempira as an escort, apparently Sunday was a day these girls could do whatever they wanted. Just as I was considering this option, it was rotation time and I hesitated to offer the $10 to skip rotation must to my regret. The next was a full on bitch-I got up to leave and asked for my bill-they claimed I had been there 31 minutes (no way as I checked my watch and sat with only the one girl). I started to calmly disagree but the Cebuana bitch of course sided with the yakuza and claimed she had noted the minute I arrived. Rather than risking a scene, I paid the extra $20 and left swearing I would never go into another fleece joint again. In retrospect, the racist MF in Hiroshima had done my a favor by not letting me in. Avoid hostess bars unless you are invited by a local who is paying.

Conclusion

I have decided to skip the political commentary and history lesson as the report is already too long and most TSMers probably do not care that Japanese men are such racists. It is really a love/hate thing as Japan does have a lot to offer the AFFLUENT tourist and whoremonger. Just never believe that they are victims, as they like to think, of the outside world's failure to understand their idiosyncratic attitudes. Their neighbors understand this all too well.

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