Prostitution Report
from Macau

Writing my Macau Primer the other night made me realize two things: how much I enjoyed the experience; and how long it had been since I'd done it. With that in mind, and an albeit grueling day working a Hong Kong holiday coming up, I trundled off to the former Portuguese colony Wednesday night, expecting throngs of merrymakers, but finding the place and its migrant population of lovelies relatively to myself.A new twist this time: in order to make the 22:00 ferry, I opted for Super Class instead of Economy--a happy discovery. For approximately HK$100 more each way (normal fare is HK$162), you get the equivalent of a business class airline seat; a free snack, which is okay but not great; but more importantly, you get priority boarding and exit. For anyone who bounces to Macau as I do, this is crucial. I arrived at 23:08. I was out of customs and immigration at 23:11. That saved me at least 15 minutes over previous visits, and could be much more on a crowded night where the lines from one ferry stack up against another. If you're acting as a rapid strike force, go Super Class.Out the terminal and onto the walkway, I strolled one of my very favorite walks in the world. It allows you to gaze on the bizarre scene that is Macau, but most important it is the anticipation of what lies ahead.

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This particular trip ended up producing many firsts:

* The escalators at the end of the walkway near the Casino Jai-Alai actually worked, both up and down. There were many more dangerous looking guys standing around than usual, but also as usual, they approached neither me nor anyone else.

* I broke a condom for the first time. This occurred during intercourse, but not during orgasm. This woman, Thai, about 25 with breast implants, had a clit so plump and juicy that it would have been a boon to any grandmother's oatmeal raisin cookie. (Hey Discofly! Number 155! She loves American guys!) I used this to my full advantage to render her helpless. She loved the fact that I blushed continually during the preamble, and that parts of my back are really ticklish. In any case, we had fucked ourselves into such a tizzy that she removed herself from her superior position, ripped off the condom, and began sucking my cock like a Boy Scout treating a snake bite. She noticed the shredding, I didn't. Shortly afterward I donned another hat and we shuddered to the finish. Fantastic.

* Cheapest getaway at Darling Sauna. As I mentioned earlier, I always go for the so-called Thai models at Darling 1, near the ferry terminal. They're HK$1700. This time, I picked what I thought was the best woman available (selection was light)

* Youngest-ever sexual partner: 19. A fine young lass from northern China who insisted she was 100 percent Han Chinese but admitted that she looks either Japanese or Korean. She had a fine body hair that I've never seen before on a Chinese woman. Great apparatus

* First time having sex with a third person in the room. Northern Lass's roommate was ill and either tried to or feigned sleep during our encounter. She roused in time to see me naked, and for me to tell her I hope she felt better and to get plenty of rest. Northern Lass gave me her local mobile number, and I suggested next time she and either her roommate or another friend could join us. Added first: I was her first ever non-Chinese/non-Asian, a fact upon which everyone else in "The Mall" (was thinking of you, Gus) and everyone else on the floor who saw us couldn't help commenting. The good thing is that this should put the word out that if you really want to be fucked, as opposed to just getting picked up and done, then you go with me.

What sucked was the trip home. I took the 4 am ferry. When you live on an out island, like I do (Lantau), that means that you get in at about 5:15 to Central, only to realize that you're fucked for transportation until 6 at the earliest. I ended up walking in my door after 7 am, and had to be at work around 10:30 (I got in at 11:15). Note to self and others: if you will end up taking any ferry after 2:30, unless you live conveniently on Hong Kong Island, just go as early as you can, get a crashpad somewhere, and stay until the early morning. It will make it a much more pleasant experience. I mean, it was a GREAT experience, but I'm also typing this in my office at 10 pm, having slept about 2.5 of the last 48 hours. That said, I'm thinking about spending this weekend in Macau, since I haven't done that in almost a decade, which gives me the time and set-up necessary to do some really serious but restful fucking. AND PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I LOVE LIVING IN ASIA!

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