Prostitution Report
from Mexico

I am currently working in an oil port in Mexico and we are spending a lot of time in port. The other night myself, another Captain from a different company, and 2 of the officers from my ship decided to go out and see what was happening. The evening’s events all started with myself and another coworker sitting in an internet cafe. From here we decided to go to a local bar and restaurant to have a beer. We arrived at the establishment in question only to meet up with several other acquaintances from other countries. All of us whom have had encounters in other foreign ports. A few beers later and by now the stories are getting quite humorous as we are disclosing some of the crazy things we have done over the years. There winds up being a group of 8 of us, most of whom have known each other for years. Beavis is the only one known on the internet with the exception of Tiburon from XXXclub. I will name them as follows (The names have been changed to protect the innocent).

Bubba- 38 years old from Texas,

Billy Bob - about 55 years old from Massachusetts,

Tiburon - 46 years old from Alabama,

Beavis - 41 years old from Texas,

Pajaro - 41 years old from Mexico,

Julio - 47 years old from Honduras,

Scooter - 35 years old from Honduras

Low Battery- about 52 years old from Georgia.

About everybody here speaks very good Spanish except for Tiburon but even his isn't too bad. With Beavis, a Mexican, 2 Hondurans and some others who have spent many years in latin countries there is no language barrier. We all decide to depart the bar/restaurant and go to one of the local hangouts. Billy Bob and Low Battery depart first as Beavis, Tiburon, and Bubba hang around a little longer. Bubba starts talking shit with a very pretty bartender trying to get her to leave with him. After everybody says no we finally decide to leave. Tiburon and I leave as Bubba says he needs to go to the ATM. We jump into a company truck and pass around to the bank. As we approach the bank there is Bubba standing there grinning with the bartender standing with him. I don’t know what strings he pulled for this but he did it. They jump in also and the four of us head for the Mexican version of Gilleys.

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We arrive and walk in, only to have holes burned into our backs as the Mexicans are watching 3 drunk gringos walk in with a beautiful Mexican girl. We approach the back of the bar only to find Billy Bob and Low Battery sitting at a table smiling. Billy Bob doesn't drink. I still can't figure this out as he has been working here for over 20 years but I must commend him on being able to do this. We look a little further and there also are Julio and Scooter talking to a couple of chicas. They leave shortly after so Julio and Scooter are done. That still leaves the 6 of us. Before we all get comfortable Beavis goes to get rid of some of the beer he has been renting for the evening. As Beavis walks towards the bathroom a very pretty girl looks over and smiles. All of the girls here are available but there aren’t usually too many lookers. Always a few, there are some very beautiful girls in Mexico but the average Mexicana is nothing special. Usually it is hard to find a good provider amongst them but again there are a few. I get rid of the used beer then wash my hands to return to the table with Bubba, Tiburon, Pajaro, and the girl Bubba had stolen from the place earlier. As I am returning I pass by the girl who was smiling earlier. She smiles again and I say Hola. We start talking and shortly afterwards grab a table. We each order a beer and by now Beavis, is buzzed, horny, and needing to get rid of the beginning bulge in his pants. I do the normal small talk of where are you from and all that. I find out she is named Isabel, 21 years old from Villahermosa.

Says she has only been in town for 3 days and lives alone. I quickly turn this into an invitation to stay with me on the ship for the evening. A quick response of “ I have to work”. Wow never heard that one before, lol. O.K. if she has to work let’s talk business. She says 600 pesos for an hour. I tell her that is crazy (even though that is a very good deal when one is used to Papas). We finally settle on 500 for an hour or an hour and 15 minutes, however long it takes Beavis to blast off twice. After this she begins to discuss what is allowed and not allowed and déjà vu of normal, bullshit rushed sex from a typical Boy’s Town girl. I am starting to think this has been a waste of time but she senses this and becomes very sweet. Beavis is getting drunk, he is horny, has a pretty girl ready to go with him and at this point there is no way to abort. We leave and I am not anticipating nothing more than a rushed session of some half ass sex.

As we arrive at the ship she goes and takes a bath. When she returns Beavis is in bed waiting for her. She comes over and begins with a very passionate kiss. Now I am thinking maybe this will be ok. She is clean and smells good so Beavis being the connoisseur pussy eater he is decides to check it out. As Beavis begins tracing the alphabet on this girl’s clitoris she is screaming so loud that I am sure she can be heard all over the ship. I turn the music up to drown out some of the screams of ecstasy. I have this one running like a well tuned machine and shortly afterwards she floods my sheets like a fire hydrant. By now I am sporting a kickstand and this girl is begging me to fuck her. Another one of those alcohol induced stupid decisions but stopping to put on a rubber is out of the question. This girl is awesome, I last maybe 5 minutes and pull out to give her a complete body shampoo of Beavis lotion. She gets up and goes back to the bathroom to clean up.

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She returns and goes right back to giving me a very good BBBJ. Maybe five minutes later and we are going at it again. This time takes a little longer but again is very good. When we finally finish this one she starts telling me she wants me to be her boyfriend. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I am engaged to a very special girl and she was only a little evening delight but she doesn’t bring it up again. We cuddle and amazingly this girl is still horny. She begins her oral erection research and before long 41 year old Beavis is pounding this girl again. This one takes a long time but finishes with Beavis cumming inside of her this time. I know, not smart but Beavis and Kosher are stupid. I give her an extra 200 pesos, 700 total, 62 US. 62 dollars for an hour and 15 minutes of very good sex, busting 3 nuts bareback, I call this a bargain. I still say the Mexican girls can’t come close to a Colombiana but occasionally you find something good. I won’t make it a habit here to go whore chasing but I will call this one again. If it is half as good as the 1st time it will be worth another visit.

After we are done Beavis is spent so he escorts her off the ship. After she leaves I call Bubba and Tiburon to give the details. They are partying so what the hell I return to the Mexican Gilley’s again. By now the other girl bartender is there with Tiburon. He has been testing the latest batch of Agave Cactus, aka Tequila and is what you would call a “happy camper”. We stay and party some more until about 3:00 a.m., it is time to take Tiburon back to his ship. He says he wants to go to a strip club but Bubba being the father figure takes him back to the port. We drop him off and watch to make sure he gets onboard then leave again to go party some more. We go to another locals spot that is closed, then return to Mexican Gilley’s and they too are closed. There are still people there but just finishing their drinks. Bubba decides he too has had enough so he calls it a night also. Beavis and Pajaro are not ready to call it a night so we find out of a late nite bar that is open.

Pajaro (he is a Mexican officer) hooks Beavis up with a smoking hot girl of 19 years old. She climbs in the taxi as the 3 of us, and another girl that has added herself to the party all leave for the next bar. We swing by the bank so Beavis (being the drunk dumbass that he sometimes is) needs to get some more money. We arrive at the after hours bar and it is rocking. It is another Mexican bar with some working girls but by now Beavis is shit faced and doesn’t care. We grab a table, as I start talking to the pretty girl who came with me. This is the trophy girl and being drunk as hell I am starting to think that I could perform again, not….

She says she wants 1,000 pesos for an hour. I tell her no way as I am not sure I even could bust another nut. She says the least she will take is 700 so we say a friendly good bye and I continue to drink more beer. Shortly after this here comes another girl not near as pretty. Actually, not too pretty at all maybe a 5 but, with tattoos and huge tits. She asked what happened and I told her the girl wanted 1,000 pesos. She replied that she only charged 200. Keep in mind that only Spanish is spoken in any of these places.

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I figured for 200 pesos I could let her suck my dick and play with those huge hooters anyway. If I couldn’t bust a nut “so what”. I leave with this Mexican version of “Biker Jane” and shortly afterwards we are back at the port. She asked for the money before we left, I know this is a no-no but 200 pesos and she told me she needed to send it with her friend because they needed to pay their rent…..Like Beavis hasn’t heard this about a kajillion times. Anyway I give Biker Mama Mexicana her 200 pesos and we leave. We arrive at the ship about 6:00 a.m. She tells me she needs to got to the restroom so I go brush my teeth. When I am done I go looking for her but she is nowhere to be found. I just laugh and consider that this is probably what she normally does then go to bed. No I didn’t change the sheets I slept right where Isabel had released all of her sweet pussy juice. The next morning (or afternoon) when I finally wake up I remember why I don’t drink too often. A killer headache and a severe case of Mexican beer farts. Cochino!!!!!!!!!!!!!

` This afternoon I am supposed to have a date with a girl whom I have known for a while. I took her out once before I ever went to Colombia but she was one of those “ I just want to be friends” girls. I had been told by Pajaro that she wanted to come give me some pussy. This was a week earlier but, I didn’t believe it. A long story short, she came, went up to my room, came in, started kissing me and then took off her shirt, before long she was naked and fucking me. 24 years old, pretty, about a 7, no kids, and works 6 days a week. Good sex, free, and I didn’t even have to give her taxi money. This is a 1st in Mexico (or maybe a 2nd or 3rd but it isn’t common in Mexico).

Anyway the continuing Beavis saga. She calls me at about 6:00 p.m. and says she will be there in 20 minutes. She arrives right on time and again shortly afterwards we are in my room fucking. After the 3 rounds the night before, I knew I would slow getting out of the stable. I popped a Generic Viagra I had left over from Colombia. I was able to do this sweet little girl twice but as he writes this report Beavis has an almost non-existent sperm count. She spent about 2 ½ hours with me. We watched an episode of “The Sopranos” (I switched it to Spanish) and talked quite a bit. This is a sweet girl, not a prostitute, that I think is looking for a husband. I have no doubt she would make somebody a great wife too but Beavis is already preordained here. We haven’t discussed any future plans because there aren’t any. This is a simple pleasure arrangement that both parties agree to. Beavis is a bad boy because he really does love his Colombian fiancée. Unfortunately Beavis is a part of me that I separate from my given name and I must let him out occasionally.

The bad thing about this all is that I am actually enjoying Mexico this time. My attitude here has been very bitter because I have had some bad experiences. I had began to think that maybe, I had passed some improper judgment on this country. “Just when I think I’m out they pull me back in” (quote: Sil Dante owner of the Bada Bing).

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About 12:30 a.m. I am standing on the bridge talking to Pajaro, who has the night watch (from 12:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. or 0001 to 1200 military time) we see a Mexican board the vessel. Pajaro goes down to confront the man. The man tells him he is here to rob the vessel and to give him all of his money. The man is not drunk but appears to be under the influence of something. Beavis would guess PCP. He is armed with a ziplock bag containing 2 tomatoes, an onion and about 3 slices of ham. Pajaro escorts him to the gangway and tells him to leave the vessel and do not return. The attacker then throws the onion at Pajaro and runs to grab a board. As he is in the process of arming himself with what appears to be a 2 by 4 Beavis quickly returns with 2 fire axes. I hand one to Pajaro and invite the would be assailant to meet Mr. Fire Axe if he dare present himself onboard my ship again. He says something as he leaves. Beavis goes to the bridge and calls the Captain of the Port (or in Mexican terms Capitania del Puerto). I explain our situation and the Port Captain tells me he has called the police. I call several more of my crew who all arm themselves with boards, pipes, or whatever they can find. The alleged attacker is on the dock talking shit how he will return later and kill everybody onboard.

After about an hour and a half the Captain of the port and 2 police vehicles arrive. There are several old abandoned buildings in the port that many drunks and druggies call home. The police with their guns and flashlights begin to search all of the abandoned buildings. Beavis and Pajaro are asked to come along to try to help identify the man who claims he will return to kill us. We encounter several vagrants who live in these buildings. At one the smell of marijuana was so strong it would knock you down (Beavis was thinking that maybe Kosher was here instead of on his way to Costa Rica). I can now say that I have seen the lowest form of life in Mexico. I had no idea all of these old buildings were home to so many low lifes. These aren’t poor people these are scumbags who steal and rob people to buy drugs. Beavis will no longer walk around here at night again.

About an hour or so of searching through these fine accommodations we haven’t found the villain. We return to the ship and I break out the line-throwing gun in case this asshole decides to return. A line-throwing gun is just that. It is a rifle that shoots a rod with a small string attached. The string is attached to a larger rope then the larger rope is attached to a hauser. It is used to pass a rope between two large vessels at sea. The brass rod is shot by a .45 caliber blank. The point is if you raise a rifle and fire a .45 caliber blank at a man armed with an onion he will most likely run like hell. Weapons are not allowed on vessels in Mexico therefore we will impose this as a scare tactic.

Synopsis:
Bad things: Beavis still thinks Mexico is a shithole but perhaps the attitude is a little better. Here where we are Spanish is a necessity. The average intelligence level does not appear to be climbing. Trying to rob somebody armed with an onion and 2 tomatoes? The incompetence is unbelievable. An hour and a half, for the police to arrive in the port? Shit on the average is way too expensive for a 3rd world country. The average working girl has not a clue of what good service is. The average Mexicana can not compare to any other latin girl.

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